Chapter 1: Falling into the Journey

It was a typical Saturday morning in early May. My daughter had just arrived home from college for the summer a couple of days prior. My daughter is like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise grey sky. She lights up the place when she is home. I was so excited that Rebekah was home and had planned a girls' day outing for the two of us. We were going shopping and doing "girl" stuff since I'd had months of dealing with two guys, my husband and son, by myself.

After eating breakfast, I quickly started my shower. Having my mind on the day's activities, I somehow found a slick spot in my shower and no sooner had I turned on the water, I fell knee first. Now that might not seem like a big deal to some of you. What you have to realize is that I was 100 pounds overweight, an arthritic and hadn't exercised in, well, I don't know when. On top of this, I had recently been noticing differences in my physical state such as losing my balance and losing strength.

There I was on the shower floor in a position that resembled a cheerleader-type move not to mention that I was in my birthday suit. All I could do was scream for help. I couldn't move either of my legs and I was in major pain. When arthritics even just bump a joint, the pain can be unbearable. Never mind the type of fall I had experienced. Now, I can tell you that the bigger they are the harder they fall really is true.

The first person to reach my bathroom door was my teenage son. He came to the door and called through it, "Mom, are you ok?" "No," I shout. "I need help." He cracks the door. "Don't come in here!" I shout, after all this was my teenage son and I was in my birthday suit. "Go get your sister!" Rebekah comes to the cracked door. "Mom, are you ok?" "No! I need help." She starts to come in the door. "Go get your dad!" I shout.

Meanwhile, my husband had been working in the yard. He heard the commotion all the way outside. At this point, he comes into the house to find out what's going on. It took him about 20 minutes to help me get up off the bathroom floor. At this point, we are realizing that my knee has something majorly wrong with it. The left knee was three times the size of the right knee and I couldn't put any weight on it.

We made it to the doctor on Monday and found out I had torn my ACL and fractured the tibia in the left knee. My orthopaedist determined that I was not a candidate for ACL surgery. While I was relieved that surgery was not in my future, I didn't really understand what the doctor was saying to me until my rheumatologist explained about a month later that due to my weight the likelihood of a successful surgery was significantly minimized.

Then came my first meeting with the physical therapist. I will never forget what he told me that first meeting, "Resign yourself right now to the fact that you will have to do something for the rest of your life to keep your knee strong if you are to regain a normal functioning of the knee." Did he know who he was talking to? I was the queen of avoiding physical activity. Ever since I had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in college, I had rationalized away any thought of regular exercise. When shopping, I would circle the parking lot for what seemed like an eternity just to get a parking place close enough that I wouldn't have to walk much. I once asked my rheumatologist if I could get a handicapped sticker for my car. After all, if I was hurting, I didn't need to do anything else to aggravate the condition, right?

Thus, my journey began.